Self-sabotage is a destructive behavior that undermines our success despite our own desires, dreams, and values. It is often caused by low self-esteem, negative self-talk, and related negative emotions, which are continually reinforced by the resulting failure. People may engage in self-sabotaging behavior consciously or unconsciously, and the causes range from childhood issues to effects of previous relationships. Common self-sabotage behaviors include procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and forms of self-harm such as cutting. Self-sabotage is when we actively or passively take action to prevent us from reaching our goals.
This behavior can affect almost every aspect of our lives, from relationships to professional goals to personal goals such as weight loss. Although it's very common, it's an incredibly frustrating cycle of behavior that reduces our self-confidence and makes us feel trapped. The root cause of self-sabotage is often a lack of faith in oneself. Self-sabotage behaviors can also be coping mechanisms learned (and outdated) from the past. We may have had to adopt certain behaviors to survive when we were little.
For example, if we grew up in an abusive home, we may have had to struggle to get out of it. But while this rugged exterior may have helped us back then, if we take it into adulthood, it's likely to have a detrimental effect on our relationships. Self-sabotage is rooted in counterproductive mentalities that include negativity, disorganization, indecision, and negative self-talk. Perfectionism and imposter syndrome are also forms of self-sabotage. An insidious and ubiquitous form of self-sabotage is meaningless distractions that prohibit the achievement of the goal.
According to Joseph, self-sabotage occurs when you do certain things that were adaptive in a context but are no longer necessary. The reasons for sabotaging relationships are complex, but understanding the origins of sabotage is key to change. To break the cycle of self-sabotage, it's important to identify the underlying causes and develop strategies for overcoming them. This includes recognizing negative thought patterns and replacing them with positive ones. It also involves developing healthy coping mechanisms such as mindfulness meditation or journaling.
Finally, it's important to practice self-compassion and forgive yourself for past mistakes.
